Universidad
Pedagogica y Tecnologica de Colombia
Master programe in language teaching
Dr. Alberto Fajardo Castañeda
Tunja – Colombia
Bijan Nassiri
How do I balance the right to speak with the
right to listen?
Introduction
As a
matter of fact, every mature human has the right to speak and responsibility to
listen (Gordon Wayne, 2006). Each of us has the genetically guaranteed
cognitive faculties that enable us formulate our thoughts and feelings, and we
have larynx and vocal cords to broadcast those thoughts. Because of this
biological endowments every human has
the biological capacity to share their thoughts and feelings about any subject.
Listening has another important consequence, because whenever we honestly
listen to another human, we learn more about that individual. The more we listen
about something, the greater we understand.
The importance of the balance between speaking
and listening
Balancing between speaking and
listening is very important in academic discussion. The number of people we
meet every day when we interact with them do we always balance speaking and
listening? It is very necessary if we have some points to add, we should wait
for the speaker to finish the talk and then share our point. If someone who has
to urge to interrupt the speaker, he /
she should identify the situations in which might interrupt the speaker and
find the way to do so. According to Badhrinathan, Andrew, Braughler, and
Claudia there are nine steps that listener and speaker should know.
The first step happens when the
speaker is repeating what he or she already said then politely say, “ yes, , I
got what you said about…” or “ yes, I understand …” repeat the point stated by
the speaker and ask “ Have I got it right? Do you have any other suggestion?” then add our views. This shows that we have
been listening and we have grasped the information. The second step appears
when we are limited by time then we should insure that we say this in smile on
our face, “ Excuse me for interrupting, we are running out of time.” Or “ I
apologies for interrupting …”
The third step is when we feel that
the person is digressing from the topic then politely excuse ourselves and say
“ we are digressing from the issue at hand …” This brings more focus to the discussion
and shows that we are listening and
reasoning what has been said. The fourth step is when we feel that the person
is incompetent or is confused about the topic then we can say, “ Excuse me, I
would like to explain the situation once more so that every one has a clear
understanding on …” Once we finish with the explanation ask for clarifications
before starting the discussing .
The fifth step there could be many
reasons why we might have the urge to interrupt the speaker but at least do it
the right way by being polite and make a request to put forth our views with
the help of works like, “ Excuse me” or “ May I please state my views on …” and
once our request has been accepted say “ Thank you” then state our views don’t just
jump to talk.
The sixth step gives opportunity for
people to speak and remember to plan our talk to state our points clearly and
precisely. The seventh step is to ensure that we should polite be aware of our
tone, pitch and modulation when we interrupt.. The eighth step is always
acknowledge the speaker by saying, “Thank you” or “I get your concern” and so
on. This shows that we have listened to the speaker keenly and understand their
views. The ninth step we should be aware of the nonverbal signals that we are sending.
Use polite gestures, hand movements, facial expression and posture. The body
language of the listener shows if he / she is actually listening or not.
It is particularly interesting that
adolescents who have raised in a democratic style show lower levels of risk-
taking behavior: they report less sexual activity, fewer high- risk sexual
behaviors, lower rates of tobacco and alcohol use, low levels of interpersonal
conflict, and good conflict resolution skills. Therefore the importance of
participation of adolescents in order to speak and to listen for making a
suitable decision should be essential.
What schools generally have failed
to do is actually enact the participation rights of the children. Calls for
democratic schools largely have been met with silence. and meaningful participation
in school is rare (Katherine Covell, PHD).
As a matter of fact, a democratic
teacher is supportive, recognizes students’ accomplishments, and encourages the
meaningful participation of students in classroom procedures and practices.
Indeed, systematic opportunities, students’ ability to freely think, classroom
climate, students’ experiences, their community and their society are important
characteristics in order to discover the social significant of knowledge (Sheldon
Berman).
Sheldon Berman believes that the
more participatory the school, the more students experience political efficacy,
trust, interest, and social integration. Therefore it is understood that the
right to speak and the right to listen are children’s rights for their better
learning and better understanding in the field of education and their private
life. A successful society indeed gives motivation to young and adolescents in
order to be more active and energetic for making decision to solve the social
conflicts. Communities that engage with
and listen to young people have healthier and more socially constructive youth.
The voices of youth
The value of listening to children
and youth has been demonstrated by research. But it may be the most compelling
when we experience it ourselves. Moreover, it can be stated that communities
that engage with and listen to young people have healthier and more socially
constructive youth. In all our discussions, the children and youth stressed
that they needed adults to listen. Indeed they emphasized their need to be
heard. Covell K, Howe RB (2001) believes that asking kids what they think is so
important. It makes them feel good and it tells people what we think. She
states things that might not seem very important to you are very important to
us. We should be allowed to express ourselves.
Ultimately, children’s participation
rights are extraordinary important in their development towards a healthy
adulthood. The important of respecting
all children’s right is summed up in the following words of one youth:
“childhood is the time that matters most and what happens to you as a child
will stay with you the rest of your life.”
(Covell Katherine 2001)
Conclusion
As a matter of fact, the reality of
life is everybody should be awared that the right to speak and the right to
listen is obviously inevitable. Everybody has right to express his or her idea
in a very respectful manner and everybody has right to be listened patiently.
Because the right to speak and the right to listen exist by themselves in our
lives and nobody is going to be given these rights. Indeed, everybody should be
free to speak and to listen. Because, free and healthy interaction in a good
society creates a suitable situation that helps raising the social level of
life and it can be a good beneficial for
everybody. As a result, people
especially the youth won’t feel bored, disrespected, and disempowered.
References
Covell K, Howe RB. The challenge of
children’s rights for Canada Waterloo
Baumrind D. Effects of authoritative
parental control on child bshavior. Child development, 1966; 37(4):887-907
Jackson C, Henricken L, Foshee V.
The Authoritative parenting Index: predicting health risk behaviors among
children and adolescents. Health & Education and behavior 1998;
25(3):319-337.
Lansdown G. promoting children’s
participation in Democratic Decision Making. Florence Italy
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